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Selective mutism or situational mutism
- 1-5 Years
- 5-11 Years
- 11-19 Years
- SEND
- Behaviour, emotions and mental health
- Speech, language and communication
We do not actively treat selective mutism or situational mutism. The best support your child can receive is from sensitive and informed carers who are with your child or young person every day. This can be at your child’s preschool or school.
The speech and language therapist can assess any other underlying communication disorders.
Some children and young people will not speak in pre-school or school, even though they will happily talk at home. This is referred to as situational mutism, selective mutism or reluctant speakers. 'Selective mutism' is the medical term for the condition. We use the term 'situational mutism' as service users have said they prefer this term.
Situational mutism affects children and young people at all ages. Situational mutism is more common in girls, migrant or bilingual families (families that speak more than 1 language). We do not know why it is more common in these groups.
Children and young people with situational mutism are unable to speak in certain situations. This is due to their anxiety in those situations. Situational mutism is not a choice.
Traits of situational mutism
Situational mutism is an anxiety disorder. It is when a person is physically able to speak, but cannot speak in specific situations or to certain people. Situational mutism can be misinterpreted as shyness. It is actually more like stage fright.
Traits of situational mutism include:
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Being able to understand language but not using it.
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Situational mutism can impact on social opportunities and has an impact in educational settings.
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The situational mutism lasts for at least 6 weeks after starting school.
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It is not explained by a communication disorder like stammering.
- Children with situational mutism might show signs of perfectionism. They may find making mistakes quite difficult, for example, ripping up paper when they make a mistake on their work.
Situational mutism can make children and young people feel ashamed, frustrated, misunderstood and lonely. But with the right support, children and young people can thrive in social situations.
Types of situational mutism
Low profile situational mutism
- May appear shy or very quiet outside of 'safe' environments.
- May whisper instead of speaking at a normal volume.
- Only speaking to 1 person or certain people.
- Find it hard to talk about their thoughts or needs.
- May find it hard to 'stand their ground' or assert themselves in difficult situations.
Low profile situational mutism can turn into high profile situational mutism.
High profile situational mutism
- Some children and young people are unable to say anything at all.
- They will look very anxious or scared.
- They may have a 'frozen' facial expression and body movements.
- When at home or in a safe environment, they will be their normal self.
Causes of situational mutism
Situational mutism is an anxiety disorder. Children and young people with situational mutism are not born mute. They cry at birth and develop their speech, language and communication skills.
Situational mutism can be triggered by:
- separation, loss or trauma
- migration or frequently moving house
- an unfamiliar environment like starting a new nursery or school
- difficulties speaking or being understood
- pressure to perform
- being teased or bullied for how they speak or communicate
Some children and young people are at a higher risk of developing situational mutism. Risk factors include:
- separation anxiety
- speech, language and communication needs (SLCN)
- autism
- family history of anxiety, shyness, selective/situational mutism or other mental health conditions
Things that can maintain or worsen situational mutism
There are some unhelpful ways to manage your child or young person's situational mutism. This can make their situational mutism last longer or make it worse.
These unhelpful techniques include:
- Pressuring your child or young person to speak.
- Punishing your child or young person for not speaking.
- Giving your child or young person more attention and affection.
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Overly accepting or encouraging your child or young person's situational mutism.
- Putting your child or young person in situations where they do not need to communicate with others.
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Isolating your child or young person. This can be social isolation or geographically isolating your child or young person.
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Expecting your child or young person to change without making any changes.
Your child or young person may link talking to people who are not their friends or family with an uncomfortable physical feeling. These physical feelings are often linked with anxiety like discomfort, fear or nausea. They may learn to avoid these feelings by staying quiet.
Strategies to help at home
It is important to try to minimise the amount of pressure on your child or young person when encouraging them to speak. There are lots of ways you can help your child or young person at home.
Do
Talk to your child or young person about situational mutism. Make sure you talk about it in a way that is appropriate for their age.
Give them lots of chances to talk. It’s important to give your child or young person lots of opportunities to speak to you. Try to show interest in what they say by commenting rather than asking questions. Lots of questions can be intimidating to children and young people.
Make less direct eye-contact. Children and young people with situational mutism can find direct eye contact threatening. Try to look at a shared object like a piece of paper or a toy. You can also sit or stand next to your child or young person when you talk to them.
Accept nonverbal responses but don’t encourage these all the time. Your child or young person will have a range of non-verbal responses to questions such as nodding or shaking their head, pointing, tapping or writing.
Reword questions to be closed questions. This can encourage your child or young person to respond by speaking. For example, if you are reading a picture book with your child or young person, you can ask a question based on the picture. Instead of asking “can you point to the answer”, ask “Is it A or B?” whilst pointing to the two possible answers on the page. This gives your child the option of answering verbally or by pointing.
Encourage your child or young person to try new things and take risks in a safe way. This could be trying new foods or going to new environments like the swimming pool if they’ve never been. Working with your child or young person to complete something difficult is better than someone doing it for them.
Don't
Do not demand your child says 'please' or 'thank you'. Manners are important, but this can be very discouraging for children and young people with situational mutism.
Do not ask direct questions. Try hard not to ask direct questions that put your child or young person on the spot. Instead try commenting on what they are doing. For example, don't ask "what are you doing?". Talk about what they are doing "Oh! You're pouring the sand into a bucket."
Do not overreact when your child or young person speaks. Try not to act surprised or overly praise your child or young person when they speak. This can feel very discouraging to your child or young person. Try to respond in a way that you would normally in a conversation. If you want to praise your child for speaking, you can tell them later that you liked speaking to them.
Do not make your child or young person repeat themselves if you didn't hear what they said. Try to acknowledge that they spoke, but explain you didn't hear. For example "That was great, but I'm sorry I didn't hear you."
Do not surprise your child or young person. Try to prepare them for new situations and transitions.
Youtube video: The Do's and Don'ts When Interacting with a Child with Selective Mutism by Lucy Nathanson from Confident Children.
Strategies to help at school
If you think your child may have situational mutism, raise it with your child's school. You can then work with your child or young person's teacher or Special Educational Needs Coordinator (SENDCo) to help them. The school can begin to use techniques and strategies without a diagnosis.
There are a number of strategies you and the school can use:
Try to make sure that it is a stress-free environment for your child or young person. This needs to be consistent. You will need to discuss this with your child or young person's school.
For older children, it may be helpful to talk to their class about selective mutism. Make sure you speak to your child or young person before raising it with the class. This helps your child or young person with situational mutism feel involved. This gives your child or young person a chance to explain their experience to you and their teacher. They may also bring up things that they want to say to the class.
Gently encourage participation. Try not to reward your child or young person when they avoid activities. This could be done through rapport building activities.
Use confidence building strategies. These can also help your child or young person with their independence.
Make supportive comments. This could be "Jenny will talk as soon as she feels ready." or "Some of us find it hard to talk with lots of people around."
Offer non-speaking or backstage roles in assemblies and productions. Your child or young person can choose a role that they would be more comfortable doing. It also stops them from feeling isolated and left-out because they have something helpful to do.
Think about situations where your child or young person talks the most. Try to create more situations like these to encourage them to speak.
Don't make it your mission to make your child or young person to talk. Do not bribe or try to persuade your child or young person to talk.
You may find these PDFs helpful for general classroom management
Download 'What to say when' PDF
Download 'Ensuring an anxiety-free environment for children who have selective mutism' PDF
Selective Mutism Information & Research Association (SMiRA) have lots of resources available for parents and professionals. Find more resources on the SMiRA website.
Getting more help for situational mutism
If you think your child or young person may have situational mutism, raise it with their school. You can work with their teacher and Special Educational Needs Coordinator (SENDCo). Together you can plan and use a small steps intervention.
If this does not seem to be improving your child or young person's situational mutism, the school will need to refer your child or young person for extra support.
The services that provide support are different in each area.
Downloads
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Bedfordshire and Luton selective mutism referral pathway
225.84Kb
Uploaded 05/02/2025
Selective mutism training video - Children who can talk, but don't.
An online training session by Allison Hanson, explaining selective mutism and helpful strategies to use at home and in school that may help your child or young person.
Last reviewed: 1 November, 2024
